The Man in the Mirror — Through Marriage

It's time I take another hard look at the man in the mirror.

Let me ask you something—does anyone else have a habit you know isn't good for you… you know it's slowly working against you… but you keep doing it anyway?

Yeah. That's me.

Here's the truth: I know myself very well. When I enjoy something, I want more… and more… and more. I've always had an addictive personality. And my wife—who knows me better than anyone—has said time and time again that if she could change one thing about me, it would be my evening alcohol habit.

Wine entered my life years ago, back in 2018, during my first real weight-loss journey. That was the same year I swapped casual Bud Light Limes for red wine. It was also the year I quit smoking Marlboro menthol cigarettes after 16 years of daily use.

Thank God for those cheap smoking patches from Walmart.

I tried the medication the doctor prescribed, but the dreams were insane—straight nightmares—so I stopped. What actually worked wasn't a pill. It was a decision.

In 2018, I reached a point where I didn't like the man I saw in the mirror.

Like most sales guys, I had the excuses locked and loaded:

"We work too many hours to be in shape."

Nah. NA BRUH.

The real story?
Beer.
Sugar-filled sodas and teas.
Fried food.
Pizza that I still absolutely love.
Zero exercise.

Something had to give.

When Confidence Turns Into Control

In May of 2018, I quit smoking after two months on patches. When I finally stopped, I felt invincible. That confidence flipped a switch in my mind:

If I can stop this… I can take control of me.

In June, I cut out all sugary drinks. No soda. No beer. Water only. Flavored water if I needed it. It sucked—bad. I replaced refills with black coffee. The first couple of weeks were brutal. Now? Two cups a day. Fully addicted. No regrets.

In July, fried foods were gone. Everything became baked, boiled, or grilled. The next month, carbs followed. I didn't know how to work out, but I knew I had to start.

I never imagined this 5'6" frame would hit 211 pounds of pure fat. I'm talking hiding while doing core workouts, following YouTube videos like it was some secret mission.

My ex wanted an elliptical so bad and never used it. I tried it late one night—it practically launched me off. So I bought a beginner bench with 100 pounds of weight. Truth? 80 pounds felt heavy.

I only ate carbs on my days off—and punished those days with extra cardio.

Ninety Days Changed Everything

• 211 lbs → 158 lbs
• Waist: 36 → 29
• Shirt size: Small

That wasn't motivation.
That wasn't luck.
That was discipline.

Fast Forward to Today

Over seven years later, I'm still training 3–4 times a week. I've added real muscle. I'm happily married for over three years. I gained two bonus boys, bringing us to six kids total.

Life is good.

But comfort is sneaky.

My diet slipped. My consistency slipped. My weight crept back up to 200 lbs. And yes—my wife loves pasta… so I'm blaming her for that one 😏.

But here's the real truth.

I got too comfortable drinking wine almost every night.

Marriage Holds Up the Mirror

And this is where marriage changes everything.

Before my wife pointed this out—before she consistently and calmly brought it to my attention—I honestly don't know where I would be right now. Sometimes the person closest to you sees the drift long before you're willing to admit it yourself.

This wasn't said out of judgment.
It wasn't an attack.
It was concern.

Marriage isn't just love—it's accountability.

I want to make my wife happy.
I want to make my wife proud.

And if there is something major she asks me to change—especially something that affects how I show up as a husband, a father, and a leader at home—then that's exactly what I will do.

She's fine with the occasional drink.
But the nightly habit? That has to go.

As I write this, I'm three days alcohol-free.

For Anyone Reading This

Just know—you aren't alone.

You're human.

We're wired in a way that allows us to trick ourselves. Some people call it the devil. I just call it the reptile part of our brain—the part that wants us safe, comfortable, and unchanged.

I call that the danger zone.

That's where excuses live.
That's where habits quietly take over.
That's where "I'll start tomorrow" sounds reasonable.

And that's exactly where marriages, health, and leadership slowly break down.

Growth doesn't live in comfort.
Discipline isn't convenient.
And change is never easy—but it's always possible.

Marriage doesn't require perfection.
It requires awareness.
It requires listening.
And sometimes, it requires changing—not because you were forced to… but because you care.

For me, this reset isn't about restriction.
It's about respect.

For her.
For us.
For the life we're building together.

Let's Grow 💪