The Fatherhood That Was Forged in My Mistakes

There's a version of Fatherhood nobody prepares you for.

Not the highlight-reel version.
Not the "I got it all figured out" version.
But the one built in regret, reflection, growth, and a deep desire to do better than you did before.

That's the Fatherhood I live in.

I'll be the first to say it: I made way too many mistakes early on.

One of the biggest was staying in a relationship for over 12 years that I knew—very early—was wrong. We weren't compatible. She thrived in drama. I despised it. I believed in locking in, working hard, providing, and protecting my family. She did whatever she could to pull my focus away from that mission.

And the hardest part?
My kids were used as leverage.

That's a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I stayed longer than I should have because I didn't want to fail my children. I thought enduring chaos was better than walking away. Looking back now, I know that wasn't true—but hindsight only comes after scars.

Fast Forward Seven Years

I'm in a much healthier relationship now (lol…. I'm still the problem I assure you 😅). But something happened that still sits heavy with me: after a few years, my two older daughters chose to live with me full-time. Not half and half. Fully.

They chose to stop spending time with their mom.

That part hurts.

Not because of ego—but because no parent wants to see that fracture. And I've told my ex this plainly: I never once spoke badly about her. Not once. I protected her image for years because I believed kids deserve to love both parents freely.

Only after they made their decision did we start having real conversations.

And that's when I learned something that shook me.

I was always painted as the bad guy.

Taking Responsibility

Here's the thing though—I'm not perfect, and I've never pretended to be.

I know how to say I'm sorry.
I know how to take responsibility.
I know how to put the blame on myself.

Hell, I'll take all the blame if it means my kids grow into strong, positive, emotionally intelligent humans.

That's the trade I'm willing to make every single time.

My goal has never been to "win" against anyone.
My goal has always been to raise good humans who make a positive impact on this world.

What I Want My Kids to Know

I want my kids to know:

• They are enough
• They are loved
• They are capable
• They are allowed to struggle and still be worthy

Life gave all of us trauma. Them. Me. Everyone.
We all carry things we didn't ask for.

So we learn.
We heal.
We take accountability.
And when we mess up again?

We wake up the next day and try again.

That's Fatherhood to Me

Not perfection.
Not control.
Not ego.

But presence. Growth. Protection. And the humility to say, "I'm still learning too."

And if my kids become better humans because of both my mistakes and my growth—then every hard lesson was worth it.

Stay blessed.
Let's Grow 💪